II.
Erin’s death happened less than two weeks before I was to fly to Europe for a month-long solo vacation. Though in retrospect I balk a little at how much it occupied my headspace at the time, I entertained some panic about my trip: what if there was a wake or a special service planned for after June 1st? Should I just cancel the trip altogether? Won’t this just cast a pall over everything?
Respectively, the answers to those questions were: there wasn’t, I didn’t, and, well, yes and no.
Pet Shop Boys - “Kings Cross” (1987).
I.
I remember Zach’s phone call on May 19th, 2008, as clear as daylight. The fact of the call was unusual in and of itself; I rarely get phone calls from anyone before 10am that aren’t reminders that I have overdue bills. I was on the Q train headed into Manhattan on my way to work when I felt my pocket vibrate. Our train just happened to be above ground, somewhere around the Parkside Avenue stop, which is how I was able to get the call in the first place.
While I can’t recall the particulars of the conversation exactly, I remember that he asked me: “So, you know Erin Leary?”
He wasn’t really asking if I knew her, but whether I remembered her. Of course I did. For a short period in high school, we were practically inseparable. We’d drifted some in recent years, owing to various sets of circumstances, but of course I remembered her.
“Yeah, why?”
“She died last night.”
A few months ago, a friend from NYC who’d never been to LA before visited me here. As we were driving down Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood, she exclaimed “LA gives me ADD!” If EMA’s “California” is anything to go by, that feeling of diffusion and fracturing is intrinsic to the character of the place. Despite its decidedly unsubtle opening volley - “Fuck California, you made me boring” - the object of her frustrations remains unclear; is it California, or is it herself? The lyrics are a mishmash of sneers, come-ons, nursery rhymes, Bob Dylan and Bo Diddley quotes, delivered over muffled piano chords that remind me of Sonic Youth’s “Providence.” By turns funny, paranoid, acrid and sad, it’s one of my favorite songs at the moment.
Mandy Smith - “I Just Can’t Wait (Cool and Breezy Jazz Mix)” - the transformation of a nice-if-not-spectacular SAW production into beachfront bliss.
Inspired by the EXCELLENT new song by John Talabot and Glasser (and because it is so gloriously warm and sunny outside), here’s a few videos that trawl the late ’80s/early ’90s balearic/house intersection that I almost uncritically adore. Here’s an early, pre-Sarah Cracknell iteration of Saint Etienne, with “Kiss and Make Up”, later covered by the Field Mice., originally recorded by the Field Mice. (There goes my St. Et fanclub membership/cred.)
tough guys don’t dance: indie, hardcore and the gays
I’m trying to organize some thoughts prompted by Norman Brannon’s enjoyable interview with Geoff Rickly of Thursday over at Towleroad today about gay visibility in the hardcore scene.
In elementary school I developed the habit of taping songs off of the radio that I liked. Many of these tapes had the Eurodance stuff that did well in the charts at the time, like Gina G’s “Ooh Ahh Just a Little Bit” and Crush’s “Jellyhead” and Real McCoy’s “Another Night”. Lots of tapes had hip hop on them (somewhere at home I still probably have my cassingle of Lil Kim’s “No Time”, a song I absolutely adored back then and probably still know all the words to). A late-night viewing of MTV’s AMP led to a 7th-grade fascination with “electronica”, i.e. Portishead and Orbital, and I became cognizant of the fact that I liked the handful of Radiohead songs I was hearing on the local alternative rock station.
Around 8th grade, which was 1998 or so, I started figuring out that I was gay, and it was also around this time that I started discovering indie rock and, to a lesser but still considerable extent, hardcore and punk rock.
The Cockettes - “Gert’s Postcard” (from Les Etoiles du Minuit)
My dear Miss Alice, Miss Alice B,
You must hurry and get here to Paris!
The French are so…je ne sais pas!
The French are so…sparkling wine!
The French are so…pardonnez-moi!
The French are so French!
Yours, Miss Gertrude Stein.
Oh Alice, you will love it!
The French are all so far above it.
Not a thing is out of place that’s out of place,
They love to make love and love is daily fare,
Of course war is fairly daily, but they don’t care,
War is love and love is war,
And all is fair, and what is more,
They love it low, they’re not above it
The French have so much elan!
Not a thing goes that’s not according to a plan.
They plan their own surprises,
And there’s never not a crisis
That arises not according to a plan.
Now man to man, they get on fine,
But the women, the women, the women,
The women are divine!
France has had great women throughout the ages
From meal-starved martyrs to stars upon the stages
The courtesans have always been the rages
And some of them are scientific sages
I could go on for pages,
And I will!
I found the cutest cooking wench,
And when you get close to her stench,
You will agree with me, my dear Miss Alice B.:
The French are so French,
The French are so French,
The French are so frank and so divine!
So come to me in gay Paris,
And you will see, Miss Alice B
That I’ll be yours,
Miss Gertrude Stein!
Music Diary Project, 4/8/2011
8:10am - Having some trouble waking up this morning.
- Alicia Keys - “Unthinkable (Physical Therapy Heavy Vibe Mix)”
- Anoraak - “Nightdrive with You (Fear of Tigers Remix)”
- Liberty City - “If You Really Love Someone”
- Plastic Bertrand - “Stop ou Encore (Instrumental)”
- Radio Slave - “I Don’t Need a Cure for This (Kenny Larkin Remix)”
10:10am - More Nguzunguzu, via the video for “Transformers 2 Demo” at Fader. Love the Kelis sample.
10:15am - Audio cataloging for work. An interview with two members of the Cockettes, with some of their songs interspersed throughout (“Endless Masturbation Blues” is the best song title so far)! This is pretty cool.
4:35pm - Listening to Marianne Faithfull on headphones mostly to drown out the music being played aloud in the office. “The Hawk” isn’t really the loudest thing but it’s lovely and I am listening to it on giganto work headphones. Followed it up with her version of “Trouble in Mind”.
6:25pm - Jah Wobble, The Edge & Holger Czukay - “Hold on to Your Dreams” - a perfect featherweight groove for wishing it was warmer than it was. Lyrics by Arthur Russell.
7:30-9:00pm - Went to my favorite gay bar in North Hollywood with a friend; one of the bartenders and his friend were throwing a joint birthday party for themselves, with music video/live DJ accompaniment. Among the songs played:
- Stacey Q - “Two of Hearts”
- Musical Youth - “Pass the Dutchie”
- Company B - “Fascinated”
- Seduction - “(You’re My One and Only) True Love”
- Inner City - “Good Life”
- M/A/R/R/S - “Pump Up the Volume”
- Milli Vanilli - “Girl You Know It’s True”
- C+C Music Factory - “Things That Make You Go Hmmmm…”
- some other freestyle-y stuff along the lines of the above
Music Diary Project, 4/7/11
7:55am - Prefab Sprout, Steve McQueen. The first half of this album is completely flawless. Then you hit “Moving the River” and it gets a bit bumpy but I would still call this one of my favorite albums ever.
